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Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy”. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
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Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The Hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. Promptly, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

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Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a load of hot, steaming dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. The cat promptly dug the bird out, killed him and ate him.

Management Lesson: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend. And when you’re warm and happy in your pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!

The night before one exam, two students tied one on, (well, actually, tied two on, one each), and managed to sleep through the final. They realized they were in serious trouble, so they agreed to tell the professor that they had a flat tire on the way to the exam.
“No problem.” said the Professor, “Come by my office at 5 P.M. and I’ll give you the exam then.”
Feeling pretty clever, the students spent the intervening time getting information on the exam from students who had already taken it, and making sure they knew how to do the problems.
Coming to the professor’s office that evening, they were told, “Leave your books in my office, and I’ll put you in two separate rooms for the exam.” They were both ecstatic to see that the Professor had given them the exact same exam taken by the class that morning.

However, there was an additional page tacked on the end, upon which was written, “For 50% of the grade, which tire was flat?”

Cum scria si Hoinaru, in sesiune facem update la Wordpress, schimbam tema, dam mailuri, citim cu sarguinta si zilnic online-ul, orice numai de invatat nu [de exemplu, eu mi-am pus slogan la blog si vroiam sa ma apuc sa fac si update la Wordpress 2.7. Multumesc PinkISH pentru ajutor!]

Si ne apucam de invatat pe la 9 PM, ca doar maine la 7 juma' de diminetza avem examen

Si tot de la Hoinaru vine filmuletul cu tipicul studentului roman:

Bafta la (ne)invatat in sesiune!

Se continua seria de concere pentru Erika. Joi, ora 20:00 in club Gossip.

De la Cabral.

Am mai gasit un test la blonda. Cu ocazia asta am aflat si eu care e varsta creierului meu

Nu pot sa zic decat...

O leapsa de la Laura:

Trei situatii in care am avut intalnire cu dansa (mama sinestezie care ne face sa auzim imagini si culori si se joaca fericita cu mintea nostra):

1. Mirosul de portocala sau de scortisoara ma duce cu gandul la iarna, la Craciun, imi da un sentiment de pufosenie si ma incalzeste pe interior. Valabil si pentru mirosul de lemne arse, care pentru mine inseamna iarna.

2. Mirosul anumitor autobronzante cu care se dau doamnele si domnisoarele primavara, toamna, iarna, ma duce cu gandul la mirosul cremei de plaja. Si apoi vad marea, ii aud valurile si parca simt asa un gust sarat si picioarele mi se afunda in nisip. Tot la mare ma gandesc si cand aud pescarusii.

3. Exista unele sunete (de exeplu sunetul unei vioare, sau sipotul apei) care ma trimit instant "in my happy place", cu o cascada, verdeata, un copac mare si liniste. La mine vioara are sunet verde.

O dau si eu mai departe cui ii place subiectul. Hoinare?

(more...)

Azi a fost gongul de inceput al unei saptamani oribile. In forma unei zile mizerabile.

Maine e marti 13 si eu planuiesc sa fac iarasi 1000000 de chestii. Am nevoie de un alter ego, evil twin etc., care sa ma ajute saptamana asta cand va trebui sa fiu in cate 2 locuri in acelasi timp.

Abia astept sa vina sesiunea sa dorm si eu

Si nu sunt singura care a avut o zi de mentionat in analele istoriei... Hoinaru si Dan au dat si ei join. Nici PinkISH nu e prea fericit.

Cred ca m-am obisnuit sa fiu inconjurata de hartii.

Imi place ceea ce fac, imi convin alegerile pe care le fac.

Nu cred ca au existat multe optiuni de-a lungul vietii pe care sa le fi regretat. De fapt, cred ca le pot numara pe degete.

Am o dorinta [probabil sadica] sa ma implic in felurite proiecte. Din fiecare am cate ceva de invatat.

Cateodata nu am inspiratie. Atunci numerele si calculele si graficele imi sunt cele mai bune prietene.

Am mereu nevoie de cate ceva care sa imi stimuleze imaginatia.

Am inceput sa ma obisnuiesc cu lipsa somnului.

Clar am inceput sa aberez, ma duc sa ma imprietenesc din nou cu patul meu, cu perna mea, cu patura mea.

Soldatul Andrei Gavrila a decedat cu 2 zile inainte de terminarea stagiului militar.

Pentru mine o luna nu e mult. Si desi nu am sa ma-ntorc barbat, poate am sa ma-ntorc mai desteapta.

Sa vina sesiunea
Si dup-aia emigram in America.